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Such blissful words! But how can the Word, “‘I am crucifying you’ bring me such peace, My Lord? But it does. Peace. Calm. Relief. Oh, the burden of that self that refuses to die to itself! Oh, the bliss of that death that opens to Life! I confess all the pain and sorrow that self has brought into this world. I love you. Bowing to the open Sky, I rejoice. Such death! Sweet death!
*Reflection on the night of January 13, 2006
Yesterday I was wood for the kindling
At night I became a flame
Kissing the Open Sky
Yesterday I was love mingled with hope
At night I became lost in the thing itself
Yesterday I was a finger tracing the rug of tomorrow
At night drunk I was sprawled on the floor
Yesterday I yearned
At night I forgot the yearner
Yesterday I was a diamond alone
At night a million Suns shone through me
Yesterday I smelled the Rose
At night I rejoiced in the piercing of the thorn
Yesterday I was a dog howling apart
At night I was dissolved in the bark
Lift your wet finger
Point it toward the Lightening
Become the Lightening rod
To give life to others
A shadow lurked in the dark
It became the Friend
When Love crossed the threshold of my Heart
I lost my way
myself
You death dealing God
How can I thank you?
What weary death
Can end in such blissful Life!
Just follow the Spirit-
Like my writing now-
And it will lead to an Ocean
Teeming with blessings
The uninitiated never find
For the Sea of Grace yields its treasures
Only to those who receive
Receive!
A fish jumped from the Water
With Your secret Name written on it
There are names only Lovers share
I shall not speak of this…
Don't blame me if this poem confuses you
Blame God: It's His wine that makes me lose my
common sense and want to be a fool like this
Spiritual Exercise
1. Do Lectio Divina with Galatians 2.20.
2. Pray the follwing from the hymn "Nearer, My God, to Thee" a few times. Let the words become one with your Love for the Wonderful Presence:
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, to Thee!
E'en tho it be a cross
That raiseth me;
Still all my song shall be
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee.
*Sarah F. Adams, 1805-1848
Questions
1. Have you had a moment of sensing a death to your old way of being and living (i.e., the False Self)? What did it feel like?
2. Do we experience a death to the False Self one time or many times? Explain.
3. Are there remnants of the False Self that the Spirit is calling you to surrender to Her Grace? What are they?
OneLife Ministries is a pastoral outreach and nurture ministry of the First United Methodist Church, Fort Meade, FL. For Spiritual Direction, Pastoral Counseling, spiritual formation workshops, Christian meditation retreats, or more information about OneLife, write Rev. Dr. Brian K. Wilcox at briankwilcox@comcast.net.
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