Lotus of the Heart > Path of Spirit > Feeling the Aloneness

 
 

This Feeling Before Words ~ Holding the Absence

Dec 7, 2019

Saying For Today: And, finally, even the act of giving is dissolved into this mute but articulate Quiet. Thought moves, unsubstantial, like these clouds within these waters.


A Quiet Aloneness~ Androscoggin River Series

*Brian Wilcox. 'A Quiet Aloneness~Androscoggin River Series'.

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It is cold here in coastal Maine, winter cold mid-December.  This early morning, no one is here on this bridge, only I. I stand alone, viewing the snow-garbed banks of this river, the floating ice, the reflections of sky and clouds on these moving, quiet waters.  To hold my absence, the first aloneness, is to hold God, to be held by this Love.  I feel into the Quiet, so to be felt, and so to feel myself, like searching fingers searching the hand of God. This Silence, the absence of all I know, so the Presence by whom I, as everyone, am known.  Yes, I am known in one Love knowing with them.  Yet, words like Presence, and God, and Silence speak weakly of the Otherness that is, also, Hereness, total Intimacy.  How can I be so small, like a dust mote in the sky, yet one with all this? Without losing myself, too?  I feel, so know, here on this bridge, I am within the Silence that is, as all this is and within it. Here, always here, nothing to do or not do.  Life lives itself, which is the same as saying Live gives itself, for in this Silence to live is to give, to give is to live.  My life is giving myself, without thought of giving, the absolute aloneness and total intimacy I am, to that Life living inside and surrounding me. And, finally, even the act of giving is dissolved into this mute but articulate Quiet. Thought moves, unsubstantial, like these clouds within these waters.

I recall the words, now writing on this encounter with the Silence from earlier this morning, words read last night from Jean Klein, in his Living Truth, "In a religious way of speaking it is only when you are not that God is." True, and yet, when I am not, I am, we are. There is only one breath, and one place we breathe.

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All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.

*Andre Breton, b. 1896, Founder of Surrealism

Of what significance is meditation when reality is there! It was not meditation that brought [this] reality into being, nothing can bring it into being; ... what was necessary was a very sensitive, alert brain that had stopped entirely, willingly, and easily, its chatter of reason and non-reason. It had become very quiet, seeing and listening without interpreting, without classifying; it was quiet and there was no entity or necessity to make it quiet. The brain was very still and very alive. That immensity filled the night and there was bliss.

*Jiddu Krishnamurti. On God.


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John Woolman, an early Quaker, recounting one of his missions among the Native Americans, tells of words referred to him of a comment to one of his interpreters. One of the men of the town, named Papunehang, said in substance, "I love to feel where words come from."

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Here, in Silence,
a feeling that is not an emotion
manifests as subtle Presence
like the Sun shining anew
caressing eyes and skin ~
fingers of Light.

What is left in this Silence?

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Do not simply play on the shores,
give yourself to the Ocean;
do not just remain quiet,
surrender yourself to Silence.

Before We Were Together

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*The theme of "Lotus of the Heart" is 'Living in Love beyond Beliefs.' This work is presented by Brian K. Wilcox, of Maine, USA. You can order Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, through major online booksellers.

 

Lotus of the Heart > Path of Spirit > Feeling the Aloneness

©Brian Wilcox 2020