Lotus of the Heart > Path of Spirit > Communion and Compassion


Compassion & Being-With (No. 2)~Silent Eloquence with Dying

Mar 7, 2018


Living in LOVE beyond Beliefs



Last presentation in this series, we wrote of compassion as being-with. What is this? We observed~This being-with is caring presence that refuses to put on an act, refuses to escape the intensity of realness with others. This is about not donning the role of superior, or expert, but acting from the truth of our shared Beingness.

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Being-with, indeed, as a word-pair says much. Beingness is reference to That we are. Essentially, we each are not a who, for essentially we are not persons. And we are not individuals, for individuality means separation. Each individual, each who, is a story, a person-ality; the moment you have a gap in which there is no thought linking to time and space, past or future, you no longer exits. Yet, That we are is non-person, really transcending either person or non-person. This That clothes itself with person, even as treeness clothes itself with a myriad trees, colorness clothes itself with many colors. Christian contemplatives speak of True Self, Buddhists speak of Original Face, Hindus refer to Self, or Atman. The sage Nisargaddatta observed that with I Am duality arises, return to just I and this is the return to That, the Self ~ the only one, One. So, this being-with is not you as person being-with, and this being-with, then, is absolutely that being with the other who is the face of the Self you are also. So, the most important thing in being-with is the inborn capacity to realize that in person, or individual, the one I can refer to as I, me, mine, myself, remains present as the conduit for the Self, Presence. Then, this is like to a prism, in which the one Light is seeking to express through the diversity of persons.

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An image has kept arising to me in these last days of writing on being-with. I see my dad, lying on a hospital bed. The bed was placed in the living room of my childhood home, the room I have my fondest memories of my dad, who died in 2017. He, since I can remember, had a recliner in the far corner of this room. This has changed, now he lies on this bed, under hospice care, frail and weak, when he used to be strong and robust. This is my last trip home to see him alive ~ I did not know. I did know his time was nearing, how soon I did not know. I pull a chair beside his bed, his eyes closed, his breathing quiet. Dad is confused, not making any sense, rarely speaking or showing any signs of awareness of this world, anyone in it.

Out of the fog of confusion, dad speaks with full clarity. I am surprised. He says, "Son, if you have anything to say, now is the time to say it." I think a moment. I realize all has been said over the years, our life together. I reply, "There's nothing I need to say." I remain by his side, quietly present, I sense not only in respect of my dad, but in respect of death, which was the only way who my dad really is would be free of the suffering body.

I could have given a goodbye speech. Some would say I should have~but there are no shoulds in Love. This Beingness courts no prescriptions on how anyone is to be with anyone; Beingness is with in Truth, which is Love. So, there was nothing to say, and, so, being-with in quietness and reverence for my dad was enough. I have never regretted simply being-with in silence those precious moments by my dad. The eloquent Silence said all needing to be said.

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Often, indeed, as with my dad, nothing need be said, for a quiet, reverential being-with is saying so much more than a person can ever put into words.


♥ ♥ ♥

Grace and Peace to All

The Sacred in Me bows to the Sacred in You

*Lotus of the Heart is an interspiritual work of Brian Kenneth Wilcox, Florida USA. Brian is a practicing spiritual contemplative, interspiritual Chaplain, and writer of nonfiction and poetry.

*Move cursor over photos for photographer and photo name.

*These presentations, at times, include adaptation to gender-inclusive language in quotes from other writers.


Lotus of the Heart > Path of Spirit > Communion and Compassion

©Brian Wilcox 2018