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A Beautiful & Sad Tenderness ~ On Aloneness

Reflections from Solitude and Silence No. 12

Jun 7, 2018

Saying For Today: A lovely tenderness arises, not only for self, for everyone, everything. You may find yourself crying, even weeping at beauty, everything becomes beautiful. You cannot find words to this, only see it and be with it in reverence. You feel such humbleness happening.


Prayer

This is the twelfth of the series of reflections arising from a month in silence and solitude; the musings invite the reader to explore the Truth for himself or herself. May the writer's reflections be windows to look in, or out, onto the vista of our one Beloved, our deepest, truest Self. Peace! Brian

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A beginning thought for today... ~ and please enjoy the concluding video, I think you will find it lovely and inspiring to you.

"God" is absolutely alone, so entering into communion with that Grace means accepting your fundamental aloneness in this world, every world. Here a shift occurs, a miraculous one, where you, in this aloneness, discover unspeakable beauty. Beauty both sad and tender. Yet, in this sadness is joyfulness, united in your alone heart as one. In this beauty, self recedes into the background, often is no more. This beauty is deeper than what you have known as deep. You cannot find words, words are no more. Such bliss! quiet bliss.

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Most persons see being alone as a threat. When I began working at a hospice over two years ago, early I was informed by a chaplain colleague and supervisor of the many hours on the road, and I would find it helpful to listen to audio books. They seemed to assume I would get bored. I watched, listened amused. For me, riding all day free of entertainment was not a problem, rather a gift. I informed them I would be okay. I worked there almost two years, rarely listened to anything. You could say entertainment was Silence, even the lovely world I traveled within from home to home. Also, I found the quietness between visits time to adjust from one patient to the next, often providing time to process maybe about the last visit or the incoming one.

The body needs Silence, needs Solitude, and some every day. We are built for retreat, our health depends on it, our depth of connection with others and the natural world relies on it also. We are more creative when honoring this need, we connect to a deeper Wellspring, the deepest, rather than continuing to seek to live deeply from the shallows.

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Space, in aloneness, arises, offering us release, to explore, to feel the texture. Right in meditation, for example, you can inquire "What am I feeling?" Then, get near to that. You may feel lonely, move beyond the thought of loneliness, feel it, explore it. See what this is. Most of us do not know what is inside loneliness, for we move from it too quickly, or cover it with thoughts, thinking loneliness is a foe, something we cannot deal with, or should not be asked to experience.

Why do all this, not just run away from that emptiness? To create a reciprocal intimacy with this lively, loving void, precisely Presence. Presence is the void, the void is Presence. Then, we can see and sense the timeless freshness as we move among others, human and otherwise, and feel the richness and gracefulness of it all. We fall in love with our life, with life. We spontaneously love everyone, including the critters and creatures not human. Everyone and everything becomes a revelation. We adore the myriad forms of Nature, amazed at the wonder of it all. Rapt speechlessness becomes for us Prayer. We see such beauty, we find ourselves unable to take it all in, to express it.

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Yet, one may think "How could I endure apartness from others?" How interesting the extent to which most of us flee ourselves. How befuddling the intolerance, even that we may hide in our projects of helping others, hiding from ourselves ~ in such hiding, we hide from our Beloved, our heart. How can I connect with the heart of another, as he or she needs and longs for, if I am running from my own heart? In the one Heart, heart and heart meet, this is loving, no words need be spoken, one need not be physically near the other. Such connection often happens in absence. Presence knows no distance. This void is full, embracing everything, everyone. Be intimate with the emptiness, you are in communion with everything.

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Possibly, we are inoculated not to see intolerance of ourselves and how our culture encourages this avoidance of self and depth. After all, we are consumers. Our discontent with ourselves, fear of our own lovely and wild heart, our cooperate culture depends on that for us to consume and be consumed by consumption. I found, also, this in religion, so much discontent spinning in most of the churches I served. An intolerance for bliss, for love alone. If all seemed pleasant, someone or a group needed to stir up some emotional drama. In intolerance of self, one needs to validate through creating discontent in and among others, even at times seeking to discredit those who are directing to peace and joy: "Here, I am miserable, fearful, insecure. Please join me, we can keep ourselves distracted together." Interesting, indeed.

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Time alone, engaged sincerely, is a time the facade begins melting, honesty stairs one in the face. This can be painful, and liberating. "No where to hide ~ family not with me, friends not here, God won't let me hide, ..." Wonderful! to see, to be.

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Then, the good news of this apartness. A lovely tenderness arises, not only for self, for everyone, everything. You may find yourself crying, even weeping at beauty, everything becomes beautiful. You cannot find words to this, only see it and be with it in reverence. You feel such humbleness happening. Such reminds of words from Rilke, when we see this Mystery arising in the quietness, this Presence both lovely and terrible, so much we long to place our beings in the jaws of Grace and pray, "Consume me in Your Self, and now. I will only to live one inside Your Being, Oh! my God!":

For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and it amazes us so, because it serenely disdains to destroy us. Every angel is terrible.

*Rainer Maria Rilke. Duino Elegies.

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So, a lovely tenderness arises, a beautiful sadness even. We desire, then, to carry this into the world, inviting others to this Joyful aliveness always moving among us, inviting us to release and simply be with Life, in harmony and gratefulness.

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*All material, unless another source is cited, is authored by the presenter of Lotus of Heart, Brian Kenneth Wilcox, Florida USA. Use of the material is permitted; Brian only requests that credit be given and to be notified at 77ahavah77@gmail.com .

*Brian's book, An Ache for Union, is available through major booksellers.

*Move cursor over pictures for photographer and title.

 

Lotus of the Heart > Path of Spirit > Aloneness Spirituality Meditation

©Brian Wilcox 2018