Lotus of the Heart > Path of Spirit > Not Fixing It


When Doing Nothing is the Right Thing to Do

On Timely Non-Action

Jun 16, 2009

Saying For Today: Sometimes, the most important prayer is a prayer to receive the grace to leave something or someone alone.

The writing is dedicated to a friend of mine who emanates patience and a seeking of God's Will in all things - Milly, may God continue to bless your acts of mercy on behalf of those who need so much to know the Love of Christ and His healing forgiveness, and who are prepared to receive your kind spirit and graciousness. Blessings!

Welcome to OneLife Ministries. This site is designed to lead you prayerfully into a heart experience of Divine Presence, Who is Love. While it focuses on Christian teaching, I pray persons of varied faiths will find inspiration here. Indeed, "God" can be whatever image helps us trust in the Sacred, by whatever means Grace touches us each. Please share this ministry with others, and I hope you return soon. There is a new offering daily. And to be placed on the daily OneLife email list, to request notifications of new writings or submit prayer requests, write to barukhattah@embarqmail.com .

Rev Dr Brian K Wilcox, MDiv, MFT, PhD

Pastor-Teacher, Author, Workshop Leader, Spiritual Counselor, Chaplain

Brian encourages support of the 4-Star Christian organization Compassion, which supports children worldwide; for more see www.compassion.com .


O Eternal God! O Eternal Trinity! Through the union of Thy divine nature Thou hast made so precious the Blood of Thine only-begotten Son! O eternal Trinity, Thou art as deep a mystery as the sea, in whom the more I seek, the more I find; and the more I find, the more I seek. For even immersed in the depths of Thee, my soul is never satisfied, always famished and hungering for Thee, eternal Trinity, wishing and desiring to see Thee, the True Light.

*Prayer of Saint Catherine of Siena (d. 1380).


38 You have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. 39 But now I tell you: do not take revenge on someone who wrongs you. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, let him slap your left cheek too. 40 And if someone takes you to court to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat as well.

*Matthew 5.38-40 (GNT)


A young man had just been graduated as a plumber. He was so excited to fix something. He was taken, as a graduation gift, to Niagara Falls. He pondered it for a short time. Then, he said, "You know, I think I can fix this."

* * *

Some things are best left as they are, for they are as they should be, or need to be at the moment. At times, also, we try to fix a situation or person, when we need to accept that we are not the person to do it.

One temptation is, also, to use prayer to try to change things that are simply what they are. Sometimes, the most important prayer is a prayer to receive the grace to leave something or someone alone.

* * *

Recently, during a time of illness, I felt the need to call some persons. One was a person who had once been very close to me. I called her up - I will call her June, to protect her identity.

June did not answer. I left a message, kindly saying I wanted to share something. And this was after June had written me, affirming she would always be present, if I ever needed to speak with her. So, I took June at her word, and was going to share some news I felt she would want to hear.

Well, rather than a reply call, I got a text message. The message told me June and I had nothing to say to each other, that I had better not contact any of her family or friends, and June threatened to file a charge against me. I was stunned, at this note, that ended with three exclamation points.

After consultation with some friends, I began having perfect peace. I knew the meanness of the response was not about me, but about June.

So, I realized, this person would be going to bed with Hell that night, for the anger in the heart. I would be going to bed with Love in my heart.

I prayed for June. I decided, also, I would never try to contact June again. Why? I am not to try to fix the person or her feelings toward me, nor am I to try to share kindness with someone who says, essentially, "I don't want your kindness!!!"

I have been at total peace with the response of June. I know my heart, and I know I do not have to do anything in reply, and that does not mean June has any power over me. Only Christ has power in and through me. And the Love and kindness in me, by Grace, cannot be touched by the opposite.

So, I am thankful for her note of rejection; indeed, it blesses me, in Christ, and I rejoice over it. That is my response of Love, a Love that does not need revenge, or to fix, and a Love that will Love where the offer is open.

I have more friends who receive my kindness, and share their kindness with me, than I have had in many years. So, what is one threat, one slap on the face, one attempt to control? Nothing. My cheek turns in joy.

* * *

So, at times, regardless of how you care about someone, or want to help them, or share with them, just leave them alone. Some persons will be fixed in time. Some will not. Often, we will face persons and situations we are meant to leave to God.

So, our calling entails realizing we are not meant to fix everyone and everything. We are only to be faithful to the path and work God gives us. The rest is none of your or my business.


1) Are there persons you know whom you realize you are not meant to try to help in any direct way, even though you would like to?

2) Are there situations you are not to try to fix, even though you would dearly like to?

3) Is Love sometimes letting another person be hateful and abusive, without our responding in like manner, indeed our not responding at all? Explain.

4) Have you ever turned the other cheek, as Jesus taught, when someone was mean and hateful to you? Explain.

5) Have you ever taken revenge and later wished you had not? Share that experience.

Blessings! In Christ!
Rev Dr Brian K Wilcox
June 15, 2009

* * *

*OneLife Ministries is a ministry of Brian K. Wilcox, of SW Florida. Brian lives a vowed life and with his two dogs, Bandit Ty and St. Francis. Brian is an ecumenical spiritual leader, open to how Christ manifests in the diversity of Christian denominations and varied religious-spiritual traditions. He is Senior Chaplain for the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office, Punta Gorda, FL.

*Brian welcomes responses to his writings or submission of prayer requests at barukhattah@embarqmail.com . Also, Brian is on Facebook: search Brian Kenneth Wilcox.

*Contact the above email to book Brian for Spiritual Direction, retreats, or workshops. You can order his book An Ache for Union at major book dealers.


Lotus of the Heart > Path of Spirit > Not Fixing It

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