In a teaching session given by the late Jean Klein:
Jean: What is absolutely necessary is attention without strain.
Questioner: ... and choiceless.
Questioner: ... and without an end result.
Jean: What end result could you possibly arrive at, since the object of your search is unknown?
*Jean Klein. Be Who You Are.
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We, in different ways, are looking for something that cannot be found. We have different words for it, and some have not been aware consciously to seek, and, yet, such a one is seeking too.
When we think we have found it, that whatever vanishes. We look again, find again, vanishing happens again.
Some engage a spiritual practice to seek that apparently elusive something. We seek enlightenment, liberation, God, Union with God, Christ Consciousness, communication with the unseen, inner peace, divine guidance ... ~ the list goes on. We may be seeking, we say, one outcome or two or more combined ~ a package deal.
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This seeking that elusive something, our putting a name or names to it, is where most begin spiritual practice. Nothing wrong with this. We need a beginning point, and the apparent object sought is the inspiration to set out on the search.
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When I began an ardent path of contemplation in the 1990s, when my religion no longer met the cry of the heart, I was seeking inner peace and Union with God. I had many experiences one could call "inner peace" and "Union with God." Yet, these objects of search vanished, again and again. Over years I came to see that what was being experienced was an experience. And experiences, no matter how true and inspiring, are temporary. The longing remained to settle into something that did not come and go, something more than an experience, of God or inner peace or anything. Other words I discovered, but these could not name this something.
Then, the shift to not seeking anything as an object of the search. Now, it was like driving around lost and accepting this had to be. This shift took years. Now, I sit on the bench quietly, and choiceless awareness is present. I do not know if I can rightly say this awareness arises, for this awareness was already present, is always present. Some would say a union occurs between consciousness and Awareness. Yet, sitting there, no such words are important. Possibly, the best I could say is I'm doing nothing. I am not even trying to be, trying to be blocks simply being. Being does not need help to be, being is already being, as awareness is always awareing. God cannot be found, God is not lost, God is.
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What is behind our constant need, even neediness, to be translated into a spiritual search for a spiritual conquest? Is it possible to drop all that and rest in quietness, in openness, without thinking we must be heading toward some conclusion, some point we can say, "Look! I've got it!" Is it possible to relax and be lived by life itself in a relaxed, contented way?
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What if you awakened from this spiritual search to see the seeking was leading you to miss the amazing miracle that is life happening right now, all around, everywhere? In choiceless awareness, we see, for now we see differently. In choiceless awareness, we are inviting life to show itself to us. We undergo a death, the death of the futile search. The spiritual quest drops. A relief, indeed! Now, the spiritual path, if you wish to call your living that, is to live in-the-moment, open, receptive, and grateful. I prefer to say the transition is from living life to being lived by life, for we see we are life, life is not a something outside us. Life opens us to life, for life is open already.
*All material, unless another source is cited, is authored by the presenter of Lotus of Heart, Brian Kenneth Wilcox, Florida USA. Use of the material is permitted; Brian only requests that credit be given and to be notified at firstname.lastname@example.org .
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union, is available through major booksellers.
*Move cursor over pictures for photographer and title.
The Sacred in Me bows
to the Sacred in You