|
Prayer
Spirit of Christ, gentle me. Gift me with the patience to see Grace at work in the lives of those around me, even those who seem most unlike me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Scripture
"Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. Be as wary as snakes and harmless as doves." (Matthew 10.16, NLT)
Comments
Tonight, August 8, 2006, I sit wearied and alone, after getting ready to leave one pastoral appointment and move to another tomorrow. This writing is fitting, for it reminds me of relating with persons with compassion and gentleness. I am reminded of some of the most gentle and kind persons I have ever known, persons I grieve to leave, persons I have learned to love both as pastor and friend. Also, I am reminded of being at a church and community where I have discovered some of the darkest side of human nature. I have witnessed the contrasts within community more starkly than ever before. I have witnessed true Christianity and the opposite, the hypocritical use of the name of Christ by other confessing Christians in some of the meanest ways I would have ever imagined I would see. I have learned more deeply both the beauty of love and the ugliness of hate, and both from different groups claiming the same Christ. So, it is fitting to remind myself, as I write to you, of the need to pray to remain in the Spirit of Christ and, also, work to remain as close to possible, and consistently, with that integration of strength and gentleness necessary for healthy relationships. I know, as I face a new community of faith, this call resounds more deeply within me than ever before and is a part of maturation in being a person and pastor.
A story from the Desert Fathers tells that some old men came to see Abba Poemen and said to him, "Tell us, when we see brothers dozing during the daily prayer time, should we pinch them so they will stay awake?" The wise, old saint replied, "Actually, if I saw a brother sleeping, I would put his head on my knees and let him rest."
|
|
When we get caught up in what others ought to be doing or not doing, we miss the mark in relationships. A wise person knows that a softer approach to human relations will, in the long run, mean the most, even if it does not bring the most observable results in the short run.
A harsh, aggressive, demanding approach to community and relationships will often bring immediate results. However, spiritual community is not primarily about productivity, it is about nurture, well-being, and meaning. Spiritual community is about honoring commitments, and in the Christian sense covenant.
Therefore, at the root of healthy community is gentleness. Through gentleness we let down our own defenses enough to allow others and ourselves not to live up to exaggerated expectations. However, of course, this does not mean we take expectations of commitment and covenant lightly.
Truthfully, no one is meant to live up to my expectations. Therefore, the path of gentleness, compassion, and kindness means I need freely to give up imposition of my expectations on others and even practice a loving tolerance to myself. I am called to practice more fully faith that God is working in the life of others within the capability of each person to allow that to happen. My only calling is to offer to be a means of giving and receiving Grace.
This is the way of Grace. There is no God holding over us unreasonable expectations. The path of legalism is a projection onto God of our own dissatisfaction and intolerance of ourselves, an intolerance we can unknowingly project onto others. Love leads us to a softer relating with, rather than against persons we share communion with.
Do you ever find yourself expecting too much of someone else? Explain. What does it mean that we can project our own dissatisfaction with ourselves onto other persons in being demanding of them? What does it mean to balance, or integrate, strength and gentleness?
*First edition, July 14, 2001; Second and Expanded edition, August 8, 2006
|
