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I spoke to a person who was going through a broken relationship with a dear woman he had dated for years. I knew this man to be a good Christian man, and I reminded him of his Christian faith and the example of Christ in forgiveness. My efforts seemed to have failed, as he was not ready to let go of his bitterness. Possibly, he was so hurt that it would take time to reach the point of letting go. Yet, I knew bitterness not prayed through in humbleness would hurt both the man and his relationship with Christ.
Indeed, there is a "poisonous root of bitterness" that can grow and spread to hurt persons. And the sole place to concentrate on its beginnings is in the heart that clings to bitterness. We must return to having a "tenderheart."
Yet, this tenderness of heart is what we might fear, at times. Possibly, we cling to our being "hardhearted," for we fear we will be overwhelmed with pain, if we allow the heart to soften. And we are often reminded that being "tough" is the heroic way, rather than being "kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven" us. Yet, possibly this felt risk of unguarding and softening of heart is the only path beyond bitterness and to be like Christ.
I would like to be able to say that I have never carried in myself bitterness. Being a human being, however, and subject to hurt and deep hurt, I have, as all, had moments, days, and weeks of seeming in the grips of bitterness.
Of course, bitterness is always a sign of hurt, warranted or not. In working prayerfully through bitterness, we must move past blaming someone outside us for our feelings. Possibly, something done to us prompted the bitterness, yet, bitterness itself is within the self and beyond the control of anyone else.
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