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I have heard much talk about husbands being the head of their families. I have seen it lived out, it seems, little. I have heard frequently men joke about matters like: "The husband is the head of his house, but the wife is the neck that moves the head."
Social customs on family change, yet, principles always remain the same. Let us look at the Ephesians passage above. Let us pose the question: "What if we husbands lived the instructions about the relationship between husband and wife?"
That a wife should "submit" to her husband, as the Authorized Version says, might sound like morbid servitude. Yet, words can mislead. A wife's attitude would color, furthermore, how she feels about "submit."
To think that all wives see "submission" as negative betrays a social prejudice, and we, also, can too rigidly interpret what is "submit." One husband can read it in a tyrant manner, another in a selfless, gentle way. Such could inspire one man to dominate his wife, another man to give his heart and soul to please his wife.
The CEV "put ... first" speaks of the selflessness called for in wives and all Christians. The social context of the Bible put women in a more submissive role than in much Western culture. Let us note the husband's role and see how it can help define the role given for the wife as it applies to any social setting.
The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it. I wonder how many women would be glad to put the husband first if she was loved like that. As John of the Cross taught: "Where there is no love, pour love in, and you will draw love out." There is a natural return of love in response to receiving love.
To love the wife like Christ loved the Church is a loving that does not dominate or demand obedience. This love does not go to make important decisions regardless of thoughts and feelings of the other. Christ loves us with a selfless love. Selfless love is an inclusive, considerate loving.
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