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The Taste of Immaculate
Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens
Boothbay, Maine
* * *
I wait
wholly
quietly
silently
for Spirit alone
*Psalm 62.5
She asked the Sage, "Is it possible to detach from hope, as many teach we need to do?" "No," replied the Sage, "you can be detached from hope, but you can't detach from hope, and it would be unwise to do so if you could."
*Brian K. Wilcox. "Meetings with an Anonymous Sage."
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One night Thay [Thich Nhat Hanh] brought a book to me and opened it to a reproduction of an old Zen master's painting: a dead twisted branch coming in from one side, and growing out of it a new and fragile limb, very thin and covered with blossoms. There was no need to know the meaning of the Chinese words, or any words, though Thay did a translation: “The winter plum. / Clearly the morning is coming.” In my Christian eyes, it was a way of showing the resurrection: life rising out of death. A simple painting of hope, hope as lived experience, as evident in the gospel of trees as it is in the gospels of words.
*Jim Forest. Eyes of Compassion: Learning from Thich Nhat Hanh.
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Some spiritual teachers teach hope leads to an unhealthy, unhelpful attachment to the future. Hope, then, takes us out of the moment. Wait... not necessarily. Or, possibly, this depends on what one means by hope.
In the sense of lived experience, hope is always now, in this moment. We cannot hope anywhere else. We can embrace hope in this moment and remain in this moment. We can work from that hope in this moment. That hope can assist us in staying in this moment. Such hope can inspire us to implement wise means in this moment to create a life more aligned with that hope.
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What is hope? We cannot say what it is. Hope is known only in the intimacy of the knowing. Anyway... let me try to hint some. So, here we go... Hope is not hope-so. Hope is not maybe-so. Hope is a present confidence, nonlogical, intangible, given to us. Hope is a grace arising into the whole self from the heart. Hope is a trust in what can be, for it already is - indeed, were it not already, it could not be given. See, I can only hint, but maybe the hints help some.
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In the 1988 movie "Patch," based on a true story, Hunter "Patch" Adams is adrift. Lonely and suicidal, he checks into a hospital to work through his problems. While there, he learns the healing that can arise through helping others and desires to become a doctor. In medical school, Patch finds healing wisdom in joy and laughter, but some professors do not accept his innovative approach to medicine.
After building a free clinic in the mountains, all is going well for Patch. The woman of his dreams, a fellow doctor, confesses past abuse led her to hate men, to wish she were a butterfly so that she could get away. Now, she has found new hope and love with him.
When things are so wonderful to seem incapable of getting better, Patch is informed one of their patients killed his girlfriend. Disillusioned about the value of his work, he decides to quit. For a last time, Patch goes to the site upon which he had wished to build a free hospital to replace the clinic. There, he challenges God.
Patch stands on a cliff. He looks over the landscape and starts talking to God. He asks, "What now? What do You want from me?" He moves toward the edge and considers jumping. He tells God he could jump and knows God would not stop him. Patch says, "So, answer me, please. Tell me what You're doing?" Getting no audible answer, he says he will look at the logic. The way he sees it, God creates a person, and the person lives a lifetime of pain and dies. Patch informs God of how God should have thought out creation a bit more. He tells God, "You rested on the seventh day; maybe you should have spent that day on compassion." Again, he looks over the edge; then, he kicks a rock down the cliff. In a last defiance, he looks up and says, "You know what? You're not worth it."
Patch turns and begins to walk back to his car. He stops, amazed to find a butterfly on his suitcase. The butterfly takes wing and lights upon his chest, near his heart. Patch reaches out his hand, and the butterfly crawls onto his finger. He looks at it. He laughs. As the butterfly takes to the sky, soaring higher and higher, Patch laughs again. God has taken a small creature of beauty and spoken to his heart.
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What did Patch realize as he looked upon the butterfly? His beloved had only flown away, free? She did not run away from her suffering but found true love with him, and he, too, could again find meaning in life? That she was still present in spirit, even though not in body? We do not know, but we can ask, here and now, "How do I let hope find me?"
I invite you to reflect on this story and inquire. Some questions you might ask... Is it okay to confront Spirit? Am I less a person, less spiritual, less faithful, less mature than ... to feel and honor what some might see as dark emotions - like anger, jealousy, malice ...? Have I sensed myself in deep hurt, and something is given just when I needed it, helping me have faith in life again? What are means that most speak to my heart, inspiring me to keep trusting in the goodness of life and worth of my life (i.e., poetry, song, nature, art, conversation, books, meditation, prayer, scriptures, public worship, private worship, silence, solitude, community)?
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*©Brian K. Wilcox, 2023.
*Use of photography is allowed accompanied by credit given to Brian K. Wilcox and title and place of photograph.
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse.
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