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In the 1988 movie “Patch,” based on a true story, Hunter "Patch" Adams is adrift. Lonely and suicidal, he checks into a mental institution to try to work through his problems. While there, he learns the healing power of helping others and desires to become a doctor. In medical school Patch finds power in joy and laughter, but his innovative approach to medicine is not accepted among some of his professors.
After building a free clinic in the mountains, all seems to be going well for Patch. The woman of his dreams, a fellow doctor, confesses that past abuse led her to hate men, to wish she were a butterfly so that she could get away. Now, she has found new hope and love with him.
Just when things seem not able to get better, Patch is informed that his girlfriend has been murdered by one of their patients. Disillusioned about the value of his work, he decides to quit his profession. For a last time, he goes to the site upon which he one day hoped to build a free hospital to replace the clinic. There he challenges God.
Patch stands on a cliff top, looking out over the landscape. He starts talking to God. He asks, "What now? What do You want from me?" Patch moves toward the edge of the cliff and considers jumping. He tells God that he could jump, and he knows that God would not stop him. He says, "So, answer me, please. Tell me what You're doing?" Getting no audible answer, Patch says he will look at the logic. The way he sees it, God creates a person, who lives a lifetime of pain and dies. Patch argues that God should have thought out creation a bit more. He informs God, "You rested on the seventh day, maybe you should have spent that day on compassion." Again, he looks over the edge and, then, kicks a rock down the cliff. Patch, in a final act of defiance, looks up and says, "You know what? You're not worth it."
Patch turns and begins to walk back to his car. He stops, when amazed to find a butterfly on his suitcase. The butterfly takes wing and lights upon his chest, near his heart. Patch reaches out his hand. The butterfly crawls onto his finger. He looks at it. He laughs. As the butterfly takes to the sky, soaring higher and higher, Patch laughs again. God has taken a small creature of beauty and spoken to his heart. Possibly, at this moment he realizes his dear soulmate had only flown away, free. Possibly, at this moment he realizes that as she did not run away from her suffering but found true love with him, he, too, can find meaning in life, again.
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At times we might feel somewhat like Patch. Possibly, Jesus on the Thursday we now call Maundy Thursday or Holy Thursday was possibly tempted to question God. We do not know. The text does not present us a portrait of Jesus’ psychological state. However, Scripture presents a plausible basis for assuming Jesus struggled more with his natural humanness than we might assume.
14That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. 15This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. 16So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it. (Hebrews 4.14-16, NLT)
Ironically, Patch, in his despair, faithfully laments to God, the same way the Psalmists often prayed and sang laments. His contending against God, much like Job, is an expression of love for God. His doubting God was made possible from faith in God. If he did not love and trust God, he would have never gone to that cliff and challenged God. God, in a simple gift of nature, answered the prayer of Patch. God seemed to have no problem with Patch confronting God.
Holy Thursday begins a series of dark days. These days remind us that going through troublesome times, even an experience that might lead us to doubt God or the worth of this life, is a normal experience for human persons. However, as we enter these coming days, we look at them from the future, the Resurrection. We can read the scene from Patch, likewise. The butterfly is the thread of hope woven into the story, a response of God. The Resurrection is the reciprocity of God, a thread of hope, woven into the whole Passion Story.
Faith allows us to see a thread of hope woven throughout each life experience. We can live with hope, for we know there is reciprocity to our faithfulness. And, like Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane and Patch on the edge of the cliff, we are assured that even our disappointments with God can lead us to an honesty that expresses deep love for God and longing to trust that all will be well, even when all may seem not well.
We can, out of deep affection, through a love seemingly vanquished by hurt, faithfully lament, argue with, and find blame with God. We will find, then, that God loves us so much that God would never want us to be other than fully honest about all we think and feel in regard to the experiences of our lives.
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