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Pardon me if I seem to be chasing an illusive and allusive rabbit with the following questions, but I ask anyway: Could the high rate of heart disease in our culture in any way be linked to our not having our heart “touched” enough? … to our losing “touch with” the heart, through the dominance of the brain and the technology arising from it? … through our alienating the heart? by our not "following" our heart? ... our "losing" heart? ... too much "heartache"? … could getting in touch with the heart be as important as exercise, diet, and genetics in heart wellness?
I do know this: I have never heard anyone say, “I love you with all my brain.” I have never told anyone, “My brain is overflowing with love for you.” Persons do say, “I love you with all my heart.” And, “My heart is overflowing with love for you.” I do know that on Valentines Day we do not give cards with the outline of the brain, but we do give cards with the outline of the heart. When someone is grieving the loss of a lover or beloved, we say, “Her heart is broken” or “She broke his heart.” We do not say, “Her brain is broken” or “She broke his brain.” We do speak of love piercing the heart, when one is love struck, not that one has a pierced brain.
We cannot return to a more institutional time before the development of the frontal cortex, the center of human reasoning. We do not want to relinquish the brain. Indeed, likely, each of us can recall a time we were “following my heart” and ended up wishing we had “followed my head.”
The life of holiness is a whole life. We will suffer if we do not continue to integrate thought and intuition, conceptuality and feeling. But, in a “heady” culture, many of us do not have our heart “touched” enough, while we hide from the threatening domain of feeling in the familiar landscape of reason.
I recommend you seek to get “in touch” with your heart. How can you do that? Well, many ways. Write some poetry, even if you are not a poet. Watch a moving movie or film, and let yourself cry if it “touches” your heart. Write a letter to someone you love, deeply. Tell persons you are close to, “I love you.”
And, regarding entertainment, reduce to a minimum or completely exposure to violence. Scientific studies have measured a direct, immediate correlation between physiology and exposure to negative images and thought.
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Regarding persons, surround yourself with positive persons. We all have to associate with negative folk, but reduce it as much as possible. Do not feel obliged to give your life over to persons who feel that if you love them, then, you will tolerate their negativity. They will bring you down, with them. If you are going to suffer, let it be for something noble, not human pessimism, criticism, and persons who feel privileged to expose you to their habitual dissatisfaction with life.
Be compassionate toward yourself. We each have moments of not being at our best, emotionally. If you find you are getting negative, then, admit it and seek to transform that with positivity. Pray, asking the Spirit for help. Do positive meditations. Repeat positive affirmations. You may need to talk with a friend, get counseling or Spiritual Direction, or get on some medication. That is fine, whatever it takes that does not hurt you, but helps you.
I, likewise, recommend heart work in meditation. Relax and talk to your heart. Then, listen to your heart, say, “Heart, what would you like to say to me, now?” Then, listen. You might be surprised that your heart is very compassionate and loves you, much, while often your brain will behave more critically of you. Another practice in meditation is to do mantra, or prayer word, work with the heart. Move your awareness to the heart area. Breathing in, interiorly, say “Peace.” Breathing out, say “Love.” After a while, change to, breathing in, do not say anything, breathing out, say, “Thank you”—with a smile.
In these practices we are learning to “touch” our hearts and allow them to enjoy what Buddhists call, in Sanskrit, maitri’, pronounced my-tree. Maitri can be defined as compassion, lovingkindness, or love. Thich Nhat Hanh gives the definition, “love, bringing joy” (Living Buddha, Living Christ). When we experience this maitri, what the Hebrew Scripture renders che’sed, we know joy. We are relieved to feel this love for ourselves, and it opens our hearts. We, then, knowing this love for ourselves, see ourselves begin, spontaneously, spreading this maitri, like seeds of gladness and goodwill, wherever we go.
Indeed, persons begin to sense this about us. Some persons it will scare. I know. Some persons will stay away from you or seek to oppose you, for they are threatened by this godly, Christlike compassion, love, and feeling. But, others will welcome you, for they long to enjoy this love, as well. You will be like a breath of fresh water to their thirst to have their hearts “touched” by someone and to be “in touch” with their own hearts, with compassion and genuine care.
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