She asked, "Sir, I'm a Christian. Do you think through spiritual practice I might get to see Christ?" The Sage replied, "Of course! See yourself, and you see Christ." "But," she said, "I see myself all the time and don't see Christ." "One day you will. Now, you see your appearance. Keep walking the Way, and the time will come when you'll see yourself. Then, in that seeing, you'll see Christ."
When we are waking up spiritually, we begin to see what we are already looking at. Waking up is not to something never seen but not recognized before. There is nothing to find.
*Brian K. Wilcox. "Meetings with an Anonymous Sage."
* * *
A lay-entrusted Zen teacher, Laura Burges, in The Zen Way of Recovery: An Illuminated Path out of the Darkness of Addiction, tells of a moment of awakening in her childhood -
My friend Robyn and I often had sleepovers, camping out in the backyard. What did we talk about into the wee hours of the morning? What made us laugh so long and so hard? I don't remember. But we forged a friendship that has lasted our whole lives. One Saturday morning, when I was twelve, I woke up in my sleeping bag in Robyn's backyard and looked up at pots of geraniums on a blue wall. Suddenly, it was as if a veil had been lifted, and I saw a radiant world before me. I didn't really know how to put this into words, and I didn't tell anyone else about it, but I thought of it as "the day I woke up."
* * *
Some persons sleepwalk as a medical condition. This is called somnambulism. They get up and walk around asleep. Usually, this stops after childhood, but sometimes not.
Other people sleepwalk as a spiritual condition. This state is called variously in different traditions. Buddhism often uses "ignorance" for this condition. Here, we do not mean lack of knowledge, as though learning more is the answer. This "ignorance" is a blindness or unconsciousness of Reality. We can be living in a dream—a fantasy of our small minds veiling us to the beauty, sacredness, and bliss of life. I say small minds, for Buddhists speak of another mind: "Big Mind" or "Buddha Mind." Many Westerners can likely relate more to this as "spirit."
Our true self can be overlaid by this sleepwalking disorder. Our pristine radiance can be clouded over by our attachment to insubstantial, transient thoughts and feelings. We are innately, however, bright. We are flowing.
* * *
Waking up is the Way. All spiritual practice is to wake us up and cultivate that wakefulness and a steady state of wakefulness. We are not seeking to sleep in another mind state, which can happen through trances and other phenomena. This is why we do not try to go into self-hypnosis or trances in meditation.
We want to be fully awake, completely alert, and acutely receptive to the world within and around us. We do not want to sleepwalk through our precious lives. This is a reason I oppose using psychoactive drugs to alter consciousness. We are not learning to live in a psychic Disneyland, no matter how wonderful; we are learning to live on Earth, no matter how painful that can be. If we are escaping into a transcendental mentality, we are asleep. One can be sleeping in Disneyland. One can be awake under a bridge.
Along the waking up Way, we can experience many episodes of wakefulness. This is like being on an elevator, floor 4, and suddenly on a higher floor. We have these moments and return to floor 4. So, Burgess had one of these. Yet, she realized it was not sustained and found Zen and recovery. The blinds open, then close.
These episodes can encourage us. However, we need not get attached to them. They are glimpses of where we are growing, not where we are.
* * *
I have had awakenings, the first at age nine, and am grateful for them. I cherish them. A couple I return to often in sweet recall. The openings have confirmed my faith and practice and urged me along the Way. They have assured me I am not alone in this Work and world, even when I am apart from everyone.
Yet, the cultivation of the inner Garden is a daily practice of using the spiritual tools of practice. This Work includes my whole life, inner and outer, private and social. The Work continues. Will it ever end for anyone? Not in this life. Possibly, never. Would we want it to end?
We may best view waking up as a growing openness, presence, and sensitivity to life, including all beings. This means there may not be a final awakening but awakening. We want our lives to be devoted to the slow but sure process of waking up. The more we wake up to life, the more we are one with it, and the more we fall in love with Reality. Life becomes progressively sacred in our eyes and hearts, for it is entirely sacred already. Now, does that not sound inviting?
* * *
*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2024. Permission is given to use photographs and writings with credit given to the copyright owner.
*Brian's book is An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love. The book is a collection of poems Brian wrote based on wisdom traditions, predominantly Christian, Buddhist, and Sufi, with extensive notes on the poetry's teachings and imagery.
