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Salman Rushdie, in Imaginary Homelands, writes of a tradition in his family home.
In our house, whenever anyone dropped a book, it was required to be not only picked up but also kissed, by the way of apology for the act of clumsy disrespect. I was as careless and butterfingered as any child, and accordingly I kissed a large number of books.
Devout households in India still contain persons in the habit of kissing holy books. But we kissed everything. We kissed dictionaries and atlases. We kissed novels and Superman comics. If I’d ever dropped a telephone directory, I’d probably have kissed that too.
“Respect” derives from the Latin respectus, which is a past participle of respicere, meaning “to look at, look back on, respect,” from the joining of re, back, and specere, to look at (Webster’s New World Dictionary & Thesaurus, 1995). The etymology of “respect” suggests a close relationship between attentiveness, being present, or mindfulness and respect.
When we do not respect someone or something, we tend to look away. When we feel respect for someone or something, we tend to turn toward it. We are not evasive of what we respect. We can look at it without shame, without hiding, and honor it.
Respect is something that can be nurtured, that can grow. We do this through practice. When my doggies and I enter the back of my home, they go first. That is practicing respect. I feed them before I eat. That is practicing respect. I let them out in the morning before I make my coffee. That is practicing respect.
We can nurture the feeling of respect by being respectful. When I let my doggies go ahead of me, with my arm outstretched pointing the way, I feel respect for them. If I just marched in because I am the human, then, I would miss the little ritual of respect and the joy it brings me.
On Easter, I walked home from Worship. I passed a huge oak tree. I admired it. I spoke to it. I felt respect.
In many small ways we can practice respect, nurturing the feeling of respect. We can do this with animate and inanimate creatures.
We know we have a shortage of respect in our culture. This is seen in homes, classrooms, on the highway, in department stores, in sports, and in our faith communities.
Possibly, Salman Rushdie grew up to be a world-renowned author due to his respect for books, a respect nurtured in his home. Possibly, what we respect defines us. Possibly, simply speaking kindly to a creature, handling gently a plant, folding mindfully a shirt, holding hands patiently with our beloved or love, looking kindly at a friend, ... over time defines who we become, for we are processes. Likewise, not only are we defined by how we relate to all creations, we can enjoy the feeling of respect that comes from showing respect.
Spiritual Exercise
Nurture respect today, in small ways. How might you do it? Give it some prayerful meditation.
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