The story below is about Mulla Nasrudin, the 13th Century Middle East mystic jester. The tale shows Mulla speaking with a friend about the Mulla’s search for a wife. The story can apply in different ways to our lives. I will apply its wisdom in one way.
Mulla remarked to his friend, “I thought I had found the perfect woman. She was beautiful. She had the most pleasing features a man could imagine. Indeed, she was exceptional in every way. The only thing wrong with her was that she was not intelligent and had little knowledge. So, I traveled farther and found another potential woman to love. She was beautiful and intelligent. But, sadly, we couldn’t communicate well. I traveled farther and met another woman I was interested in. She had everything: very intelligent, beautiful, pleasing features, and we could talk together easily.” “What happened? Why didn’t you marry her at once?” asked the friend. “Ah, well,” replied Mulla, “she was looking for the perfect man.”
Like Mulla, we can be on the search for the right person, right job, right place, expecting to find what we always dreamed of finding. The search, however, begins with us. We look at ourselves and lovingly accept our own weaknesses. We can, then, rejoice in the beauty of non-perfection. We can see that person we love as perfectly imperfect, or imperfectly perfect. We can find humor in the ordinariness of our work and family contexts. We, then, find ourselves relaxing more, not taking ourselves, those we are in relationship with, or our work contexts too seriously. What a relief!
Yes, it is a relief to realize that the person you are in love with is the right person. What a relief to realize that imperfect church you joined is the right church. And, those children you brought into the world, they are the right children for you. And, what a relief to look into the mirror, looking at all you are physically, and able to know you are just right for you, too.
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In all these ways, the right one is appreciating what you have been given as being, now, the best for you. Then, you can realize that life is what is happening among all these relationships, the place you live and work, the vehicle you drive, the coffee you drink, the pets you share life with, the children you parent, the town you live in, and the person you are and are becoming, now.
See, when we love ourselves, we can love anyone. When we are gracious to ourselves, we can be gracious anywhere. When we can forgive ourselves, we find ourselves freely forgiving others.
Giving ourselves permission to be beautifully imperfect and, at the same time, seeing all we are as beautiful, the whole world and everyone becomes beautiful. This seeing the beautiful begins for most of us with learning to see ourselves as beautiful, loving ourselves, extending to ourselves the grace we try to express toward others. And, settling content in the place and with the persons Spirit has gifted you with, you can rejoice in the sacredness of that particular geography of institution, persons, ground, and sky.
Of course, wisdom often does not cover every situation, but applies generally. For example, a person may find herself in an abusive relationship,which is not the right thing for her. Likewise, work contexts can become detrimental to health or compromising of integrity. Sometimes, we decide we want to live somewhere else for good reasons, or we have to move. However, generally, the wisdom writing above applies. This being grateful for what we already are, already have, and whom is already in relationship with us is one reason, as some of us age, we become more joyful and contented persons.
Spiritual Exercise
1. Recall one person who is now in your life. Reflect on what that person means to you. Express gratitude. 2. Recall you work context. What is there about it that you can easily be grateful for? How might you see differently the aspects of the work context that you have not been grateful for? 3. Recall yourself. Thank God for your life, the food and drink that sustains you, the vehicle you drive, the home or apartment you live in, ...
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