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The Chicago Tribune tells of a husband and wife in London. They had shared too many arguments. In 1994 they fussed so sharply that the wife got in their car and ran over the husband.
The husband, then fifty-five years old, lived. However, he had forty-five leg fractures and a skull fracture. He was in the hospital for five months.
The wife was put in jail. Yet, the husband, now wheel-chair bound, asked the court to free her, saying, "I can't live without her."
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Later, the husband was interviewed by the Daily Telegraph, a London paper. He remarked, "We are back together and happy." Then, he said, "She's very argumentative."
Jesus, in Matthew, speaks, "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God" (Matthew 5.9, KJV). Here, Christ links peacemaking with the witness that we are of the Divine Grace.
St. Paul speaks of the way we are to engage in all things. He tells the Philippian Church, "Do everything without grumbling or arguing" (Philippians 2.14, CEV).
The writer of II Timothy advises a young pastor, and through him us all, "Stay away from stupid and senseless arguments. These only lead to trouble, and God's servants must not be troublemakers. They must be kind to everyone, and they must be good teachers and very patient" (II Timothy 2.23-24).
In contrast to argumentativeness is the Fruit of the Spirit, which includes qualities like love, patience, kindness, and gentleness. This means that we do not have to deal with our inward woundedness alone, that very pain that leads us into anger, fussing, and fractiousness. By being touched by the Inner Spirit, we can receive healing and transformation of emotions.
So, possibly the beginning of our becoming more kind and less angry and argumentative is simply to admit we need the Divine help and to open our hearts in honest confession and prayer for grace. If we are honest and truly will to manifest the Fruit of the Spirit in all our relationships, we will grow to be able to do that over time. But we must remain open and honest in the journey of inner healing and the healing of our relationships.
Also, I recommend that if you struggle with anger and argumentativeness, to memorize some scriptures pertaining to the subject. Meditate and pray with these, and call them to mind when tempted to lose your cool or get in an argument.
*Story from Craig Brian Larson, Ed. Contemporary Illustrations for Preachers, Teachers, & Writers.
*Brian K. Wilcox lives with his wife, Rocio, their two dogs, St. Francis and Bandit Ty, and their fish, Hope, in Southwest Florida. Brian is vowed at Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and inspires others to experience a deeper relationship with Christ. He advocates for a spiritually-focused Christianity and the renewal of the focus of the Church on addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons and empathic relating with diverse spiritual traditions, East and West. Brian has an independent writing, workshop, and retreat ministry, for all spiritual seekers.
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