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There is little within us which empowers us to let go peacefully, with some grace, and surrender life in gratitude for what has been and in hope for what will be.
This is true not just of physical death, but of all the types of death that impale themselves upon us. Invariably, they catch us unprepared.
*Ronald Rolheiser. Forgotten Among the Lilies.
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The Gospel does not know time. As then, so now. As now, always. The Apostle Paul lived into this Gospel mystery. He did not say, "I accept that Jesus died for me...." He said ...
I was put to death on the cross with Christ, and I do not live anymore—it is Christ who lives in me. I still live in my body, but I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself to save me.
*Galatians 2.20, NLV
Paul's life implies consciousness of living resurrection Life. Paul knew the Pascal mystery to contain the blessing of such Life. Resurrection Life is part of the truth contained in our participating, also, in Jesus' ascension. Rolheiser makes this important connection:
Entry into the paschal mystery, namely, into the death that brings new life, new love, new friendship, new health, new attractiveness, new meaning and new depth, requires that we die, that we accept new life, and that we refuse to cling so that new life can ascend and new spirit be given us.
Ironically, the giving of the Spirit, the Pentecost mystery, is of one fabric with this Gospel garb that includes crucifixion and resurrection. Rolheiser says, wisely: By refusing to die peacefully to false dreams, we never in gratitude and joy pick up our own lives." And, "How happy the person who accepts his or her life as it is with the spirit God has given for it!"
This speaks much to me. This year has been both a year of huge born dreams and huge dead dreams, with a huge amount of uncertainty and stress. I underwent five months of depressive despair, many mornings I could barely get out of bed, and I often could barely contain physically the abyss I felt in my mind and body. I, suddenly, began awaking to a new Life. The tomb opened up, and its opening was as much not-of-me as the dying and burial seemed out of my control and choice. I arose from the grave of restlessness and lostness, and I began receiving the spirit of my new life. I began finding myself as Brian, man, pastor, ... at new and healed depth. I began receiving Pentecost, the coming of the spirit of my life and calling, at one with the Spirit that descended on the disciples two millenia ago and the apostolic succession they began in Christ.
When this spirit comes there is a letting go of the past and a fearlessness about the future. In the moment one lives, even amidst temptation, opposition, enmity, and harmfulness - any of the personal or impersonal forces that seek to diminish Life -, these forces tend only toward deepening peace and firming resolve for dignity and truthfulness, as well as to give even more of himself for those he is to share his new spirit with. They will reap both from his death and new spirit, as it flows through his new life. He will give this, but in the giving he will never lose spirit in the sharing of it.
So, I find this truth of surrendering life and myself. But what life do I surrender? What self do I abandon to death? The life that cannot be my peace or that of others. The self that is the very self that must die for me to know myself, love myself, and give myself. There is a fortunate death, and it is the death that makes one able to say, "I have been crucified with Christ ... the life I now live ...."
As a pastor and person, I have endured much from others. I have placed myself in positions to receive this treatment. Yet, if I could say to all who have hurt me so to help me know the death that opens to the spirit of my life, the love that transcends feeling, and the faith that would rather die than deny divine Calling, one thing, that would be a sincere "Bless you."
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*Brian's book of mystical love poetry, An Ache for Union, can be ordered through major booksellers.
*Brian K. Wilcox lives with his two beloved dogs, St. Francis and Bandit Ty, in Southwest Florida. He serves the Christ Community United Methodist Church, Punta Gorda, FL. Brian is vowed at Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and inspires others to experience a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused Christianity and renewal of the focus of the Church on addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons, along with empathic relating with other world religions, East and West. Brian has an independent writing, workshop, and retreat ministry, for all spiritual seekers.
*For replies and biographical information, as well as booking retreats or workshops, fill out the following form:
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