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Our culture speaks of “falling in” and “falling out of” love. I am not sure anyone can fall out of love, anymore than one can fall in love. Possibly, there are exceptions, but I am not certain there are. Love, as God intends, is more a process that grows over time. We grow into love. Of course, we have a seed of God-love to begin with, but that seed is only the beginning of an endless maturation, at least in this life.
If we can grow into love with someone, we can grow out of love with someone. How does that happen? Neglect is a chief means of growing out of love.
I brought some plants to my new pastoral home. I realized that I had not watered the plants, which I had placed under the carport, while I waited to decide where I would place them. One plant was drooping. So, I had to make a priority to get them out and watered, today. I did. I took them into the front yard and watered them thoroughly. If I had not watered them, they would have wilted and dried up.
Our relationship with God is like my relationship with the plants. I did not want the plants to die. If I had not wanted them, I would have left them at my past home. I want the plants to thrive. Likewise, we can assume that persons who love God do not want to grow out of love with God. However, our relationship with our Creator can wilt and dry up, and simply due to neglect. For our relationship with God is a living, organic relationship.
Likewise, one word, opposite of “neglect,” describes the key ingredient of a growing relationship with God. That word is “attention.” Like all relationships, our relationship with Love will only grow and thrive by giving time and attention to it.
In Revelation 2.1ff, the Scripture has a message to the Church of Ephesus. The church is complimented for a number of positive qualities. If this were a sermon on Sunday, the congregation might be smiling and feeling very good about itself. But, it would get a surprise, for the passage continues: But I have this one thing against you. You do not love Me as you did at first (Revelation 2.4, NLV). The end of that verse reads in the King James Version: “thou hast left thy first love.” Then, the message continues in the following verse: Remember how you once loved Me.
The Church of Ephesus was in many respects a model congregation. However, in doing the work of the church well and being very faithful to its ideals, the people had forgotten the most important thing about being a Christian and a church. All the work of the Christian and church is to flow out of a passionate, ardent, and vivifying relationship with God. Our relationship with God is the prior relationship of all relationships, as well as all our doing of good for others.
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The life of the Christian and church is a being in love, a growing in love with Christ. The whole life in Christ is a life so intimate that St. Paul uses the words of spiritual intercourse. He refers to our being “in Christ.”
Therefore, we, at times, are called to rekindle our love relationship with Christ. We return our Heart to the Heart of God. Then, we realize anew the wonder of being in Christ. We cannot describe this being in Christ, for it is a mystery, a beautiful wonder that fills our heart and calls us to deeper communion and more joyful union with the Trinity. And, ironically, as this Love takes away our independent willfulness and fear of surrender to Love, we find that we are given a peace that passes understanding and a love for others that is nothing other than the Love that flows from our union with the Spirit.
Spiritual Exercise
1. Find and listen to the song on the web "Tonight, I Celebrate My Love" (Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack). Listen to the words. How does the aspiration and message of the song speak of our longing to be close to God? How can you celebrate your love relationship with God?
2. Would you take fifteen minutes today just to sit, silently, and love God? If so, here is an exercise:
Sit. Close your eyes. Breathe naturally, in and out of the nostrils. Open your hands, as a sign of receptivity, as they rest on your legs. Smile. Smile. For a little time, simply breath in and out, naturally. When ready, on the out-breath say, interiorly, “I love you.” Then, on the in-breath, remain silent. On each out-breath, say, “I love you.” On each in-breath, be silent. In time, the prayer might begin to change, as your heart begins to sense other expressions you want to inwardly voice to God. Other expressions could include, “I thank you,” “I adore you,” “Thank you,” “Praise you,” … Likewise, Scripture passages of praise and adoration might arise. After a while, you might want to rest, prayerfully, and simply enjoy being with God in silent reverence. In concluding this brief time of meditation, say “Thank you” three times.
Prayer
“Spirit of Christ, I sometimes neglect the time I long to share with you. I am pulled by many demands and expectations. I, now, recommit myself not to neglect those moments and hours that I need to spend just loving you. I accept that I will not make excuses when I do not spend time alone with you. I do love you. I want to spend time with you, not just that I might enjoy your love, but that I might share that love that grows between us. I love you. I celebrate my love for you, my Lord of Love. Amen.”
– Brian K. Wilcox
OneLife Ministries is a pastoral outreach and nurture ministry of the First United Methodist Church, Fort Meade, FL. For Spiritual Direction, Pastoral Counseling, spirtual formation workshops, Christian meditation retreats, or more information about OneLife, call Rev. Dr. Brian K. Wilcox at 863-285-9059 or send a mail to briankwilcox@comcast.net .
Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors
The People of the
United Methodist Church
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