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Be honest with yourself, and as honest as possible about it with others~families, friends, church members, ... Set sane boundaries as to what you can and cannot do. You might be gifted in intercessory prayer or leading meditation classes, or in spiritual discernment, but you might make a mess trying to lead a finance team or serve as a church trustee. Consecrate yourself and your limitations to Christ daily.
Remember contemplation might make you appear less diligent and practical than you appeared before developing contemplative graces. As a contemplative you might need more alone time,and you might need the company of other persons less than you did, and this change can lead persons to wonder why you are not as engaging as you once were.
As a pastor I serve in a vocation where appears often to be expectations of an extroverted, go-getter personality. Indeed, our churches and denominations reward such persons, for these persons often meet goals of efficiency~dominated religion. I struggle some with fitting this role, for I am simply not gifted by the Spirit to be so efficient. And I am one more to live in the moment deeply, mindful as I go, rather than rushing off to the next accomplishment and another goal to meet.
I am somewhat shy, and I have never needed nearly the social engagement as many persons. Again, I am in a vocation where one must love persons. I do love persons. But I simply do not have the need many others do to interact with them. I interact as I must, and am learning to do that more, but there is always a part of Brian that soon feels the need to retreat into quiet. I thoroughly enjoy interaction for a short time, then I must go hide.
I read an article on the contemplative life. One thing the author addressed was to be prepared for others to misunderstand you. I agree. Whether you are contemplative and a pastor, priest, homemaker, mechanic, politician, athlete, educator, lab technician ... does not matter. For if you are contemplative you do not fit into the prevailing efficiency~productivity norms of the larger society or the church culture. Your priority is Presence, not production; your priority is Receiving, not getting.
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Still do not use contemplative grace to excuse yourself. Yes, accept limitations and set boundaries. Accept yourself kindly, and consecrate yourself as you are to God daily. But stretch yourself some to grow in practical matters. Be willing to grow in capacity to engage with other persons. Many of the great Christian contemplatives have been men and women of much accomplishment and social responsibility, even if they did not want that path but were called to it.
Now, recall the opening story. Being one of the less practical, contemplatives does not excuse you from climbing the tree. After all consequences apply to everyone, and being unwise bears fruit regardless of how spiritually at one you live with the Divine. So get up that tree, or else ...
Suggested Reflection
Do you find any specific challenges that pertain to your living a contemplative life in society? Explain.
Do you experience any specific challenges that pertain to your being in the church and being contemplative? Explain.
*Story of the four learned men is taken from Deng Ming-Dao. 365 Tao. "Sense." 330.
*Brian K. Wilcox lives in Port Charlotte, FL. He is Pastor of Christ Community United Methodist Church, Punta Gorda, FL. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community. His passion is living a contemplative life and inspiring others to enjoy a deeper relationship with Christ through contemplative prayer and living.
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