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This writer's computer lightening destroyed and financial help to purchase a replacement to help in the continuance of this nonprofit ministry would be much appreciated as a tax deductible gift. For a contribution, send a note to barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
After a time of illness, I am getting stronger daily and glad to be back with regular readers of OneLife and others. Those of you who have been in prayer for me, thank you for such a Love gift.
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Leslie D. Weatherhead, in When the Lamp Flickers, tells of an incident on judging others from John Wesley's life:
John Wesley ... tells a story of a man whom in his heart he condemned for many years. Wesley labeled the man contemptuously as covetous.
One day the man contributed to one of Wesley's favorite philanthropies a gift that seemed unduly small, and Wesley lost his temper and indignantly criticized the poverty of the gift.
But the man looked Wesley right in the eyes and said, "I know a man who, at the week's beginning, goes to market and buys a few cents worth of parsnips and takes them home to biol in water; and all that week he has parsnips for his meat and water for his drink, and the meat and drink alike cost him a few cents a week."
"Who is the man?" asked Wesley.
"I am," was the reply, and, incredible though it may sound, Wesley comments in his diary as follows: "This he constantly did, although he then had an adequate income, in order that he might pay the debts he had contracted before he knew God. And this is the man I had thought to be covetous."
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The Gospel teaches us about the spiritual law that applies to judging others ...
1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. *Matthew 7.1-5, NLT
The Scriptural wisdom applied in the above passage does not appear to imply that Divine Love will judge us as we judge others. Rather, there is a spiritual law at work, embedded in Life, which entails that others will judge us as we have judged persons. This is somewhat like a Christian version of karma, but not applied to any next life, but applied to this life.
The passage applies what we call projection. Projection is the psychological term for seeing in another what is in the one seeing. When judging another we often have the same fault and possibly in a more severe degree. We often most readily see our own fault in the other, whether or not the imperfection is truly present in him or her.
We are to remedy the fault in ourselves. Then, we are able to see clearly and feel compassionately to help another in the same fault. If I struggle with malice, for example, I need to address and heal that within myself. Then, I can empathize with another and gently work with him or her in healing such from his or her mind. I can see clearly, not assigning a shortcoming in the other that is a mirroring of what is within me.
One way of working with criticism of another is through prayer in how we see the other. I was working once to see differently and more empathically someone who had hurt me. This, I knew, would release me from painful thoughts and feelings in me, and free me to be a more joyful and whole man. This, I knew, was a step toward my own inner healing and responsibility.
I knew that many persons would be looking at me, to see how I would handle myself. I owed God, them, and myself prayerfully to work as a Christian with my thoughts and feelings. This process, I knew, the Holy Spirit impressed on me during a time of reading Scripture.
I began late one night, resting and praying. The prayer was to see the other through Christ's eyes, not as a personality but as Person, as Divine Love's dear child.
This was a maturer step into practicing what I had preached and written on for years. To preach and teach about Love is one thing, to be graced to Love another whom you consider has hurt you deeply is another matter.
The Scriptural wisdom allows us a way out of the battles of blame and criticism that often arise in relationships. This wisdom informs us that we hurt ourselves more by trying to win some battle of proving another wrong or of greater fault than ourselves.
When we move beyond criticism, we open a fresh space within ourselves. We have discontinued sending negative energy toward the other, and we are freed to move on past the chains of blame and the dualism of right-wrong.
True Love exits beyond who is right or wrong. Indeed, often the effort to prove who is to blame only perpetuates pain. Love must intervene and say "Enough."
This prayerful process may take time, as we move back and forth between being judgmental and Loving. And this healing has to take place at two levels. First, the judgmentalness of words. This is when we are talking judgmentally about the other. Second, the judgmentalness of the mind and heart. This is when we are being cleansed of the inner rhetoric of criticism going on within us: this level takes longer to heal, and it will heal only by a process of ceasing speaking blame.
Ultimately, in praying through judging others, we move toward a point of releasing them to Divine Love. This more deeply releases us to the same healing Grace.
Lastly, we, like Wesley, never know fully the forces at work to lead another to act in a certain way, whether good or bad. Our praying to see the other through Christ's eyes leads us to humble admission that we did not, could not, and never can take into account all within the other in our assessment.
This praying beyond criticism takes humbleness, and we will not make this move until we become sick of our own critical words and attitude. Yet, this is the only path to liberation from the power of others' judgment of us. Our own movement beyond judging will so impress those about us, that we will receive their affirmations of our more loving, kind, and patient ~ indeed, Christlike ~ disposition.
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Have you ever prayed beyond judging another to see the other through Christ's eyes? Explain what that felt like for you.
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*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in the continuance of his work of ministry. For contributions, contact Brian through the Inquiry below.
*Brian's book of mystical love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers, or through the Cokesbury on-line store, at www.cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox lives with his two beloved dogs, St. Francis and Bandit Ty, in Southwest Florida. He serves the Christ Community United Methodist Church, Punta Gorda, FL. Brian is vowed at Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and inspires others to experience a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused Christianity and renewal of the focus of the Church on addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons, along with empathic relating with other world religions, East and West. Brian has an independent writing, workshop, and retreat ministry, for all spiritual seekers.
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