One day I'll find relief, I'll be arrived And I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends One day I'll be at peace, I'll be enlightened And I'll be married with children and maybe adopt One day I will be healed I will gather my wounds, forge the end of tragic comedy
[Chorus] I have been running so sweaty my whole life Urgent for a finish line And I have been missing the rapture this whole time Of being forever incomplete
One day my mind will retreat and I'll know God And I'll be constantly one with her night, dusk and day One day I'll be secure Like the women I see on their 30th anniversaries
[Chorus]
Ever unfolding Ever expanding Ever adventurous And torturous But never done
One day I will speak freely, I'll be less afraid And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art One day I will be faith-filled I'll be trusting and spacious, authentic and grounded and home
[Chorus]
* * *
Today, I offer a poem. You are invited to read it a few times, letting there be spaces between the readings. After the last reading, rest with how the verse speaks to you. Of course, the song above may also speak a message to your heart. Enjoy!
When you sense there’s something more when the life that used to satisfy you no longer seems enough and security seems suffocating and pleasures lose their taste when dreams of success don't motivate you anymore and diversions don't seem to divert you when familiarity seems oppressive, like a coat that's too old and tight, and every repetition of the old routine makes you feel more stale and weary
When you find yourself aching with a sadness that doesn't seem to have a source with a hunger that seems too subtle to satisfy when strange energies are pulsing through you like the tremors of an earthquake deep down inside and you can feel the ground shifting and are afraid of losing balance and you ask yourself, "What's wrong with me? Why can't I be happy anymore?"
Have no fear — there's nothing wrong with you. This isn't anxiety or depression, it's divine dissatisfaction. You're not breaking down but breaking through.
This is your awakening the tearing of the veil the opening of your soul. Your real self is emerging, slowly, painfully, through the hard skin of your chrysalis.
The old world is receding behind you and you're waiting at the threshold of the new, disoriented, wondering how to make sense of this strange place. But as long as you have the courage to move forward a guide will appear and your path will form before you and a glorious adventure will begin.
And soon the lushness of this landscape won't startle you anymore soon the brilliance of this sun won't dazzle you soon the vastness of this space won't feel overwhelming and the magic and meaning of this new world will embrace you.
*Steve Taylor. "Divine Dissatisfaction (The Opening)." In The Calm Center: Reflections and Meditations for Spiritual Awakening.
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse.
