God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts Guess he kissed the girls and made them cry Those hard-faced queens of misadventure God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken eyes Fiery throngs of muted angels Giving love but getting nothing back, oh People help the people And if you're homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it
People help the people Nothing will drag you down Oh, and if I had a brain, oh, and if I had a brain I'd be cold as a stone and rich as the fool That turned all those good hearts away God knows what is hiding in this world of little consequence Behind the tears, inside the lies A thousand slowly dying sunsets
God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts Guess the loneliness came knocking No one needs to be alone or sinking People help the people And if you're homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it
People help the people Nothing will drag you down Oh, and if I had a brain, oh, and if I had a brain I'd be cold as a stone and rich as the fool That turned, all those good hearts away
People help the people And if you're homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it People help the people Nothing will drag you down Oh, and if I had a brain, oh, and if I had a brain I'd be cold as a stone and rich as the fool That turned all those good hearts away
* * *
A Sufi story tells of a convert known as a religious fanatic. People did not want to be around him because of his angry attacks on nonbelievers.
A wise Sufi asked him, "Why are you such a fanatic about your religion?" "For years, I served the devil," replied the man, "but now I serve God. I've committed my life to expose the false beliefs of others, to show how their doctrines are wrong, and to declare that anything not of true faith is dangerous and blasphemous. This mission is a full-time work for me."
The Sufi asked, "But do you try to put yourself in the other person's place? Do you try to understand their viewpoints before you attack?" "Definitely!" the convert replied. He continued, "I have studied their beliefs thoroughly. I find the weaknesses in their views and point them out clearly."
The teacher exploded in rage, pointing his finger at the man. The teacher began calling him names until the convert backed up and begged him to stop.
Later, the teacher explained, "To put yourself in the place of other people, it is not enough to know what they think. You must be willing to feel what they do to the best of your ability. Only when you understand persons this way will you be a true servant of Truth."
* * *
In Buddhism, we unite "wisdom" and "compassion." Insight alone is not enough to serve others. Spiritual insight is not a thought about the other. We are to seek a middle way between immersing ourselves in the suffering of others and, on the other hand, standing aloof in a cold intellectualism or self-righteous smugness.
* * *
You may recall the story of the Good Samaritan in the Christian Scriptures (Gospel of Luke 10.25ff). A man is robbed and left bleeding on a perilous road where bandit attacks were common. At different times, a Jewish priest and assistant priest see the man lying in his blood and walk by on the other side, keeping a distance. The Samaritan - despised by Jews - comes along, draws near, and helps the man. He takes the man to an Inn after ministering healing balm and bandaging the wounds. He pays for the man's lodging and promises to pay more on his return if he owes more then.
The missing element in the first two men - religious officiants - and present with the Samaritan - the outcast - was compassion: the scripture reads that "he had compassion on him." Mirroring our posting yesterday, we are not speaking of a mere emotion. Compassion - lit. 'with-suffering' - arises in a purity of feeling, or sense, nonemotional, nonsentimental. Any emotion present accompanies this purity. Compassion arises from the Heart, not the body. Compassion arises before anything the body can feel.
In genuine compassion, one acts from equanimity. Indeed, in such empathy, one may not be seen as compassionate due to not being emotional. A being of compassion can appear outwardly to be stoic. Her compassion is not diluted with sentiment. The suffering of another does not control one, so one can best respond and be-with the other in the suffering.
* * *
When providing spiritual care to persons suffering - often profoundly - I suffer too. I cannot not suffer. To be with them is to be with how they hurt. My role is not to convert others to how I think or fix their suffering. My part is to love them as they are, where they are, and provide presence and guidance. To love them is not to act like the spiritual expert above them but to be one alongside them.
As the Gospel of John 1.14 teaches, the Word came as flesh-and-blood - Jesus - and "tented (or tabernacled; by extension, dwelt) among" them. The Word still does. We enter into their lives to tent among the suffering, even as they do ours. Being-with means with all they feel - all they are.
* * *
A closing story -
An ardent, 'professing' Christian had a dream. He died and stood before an angel. He could see into heaven and hell. He was sure he would be admitted to heaven. Regardless, he was concerned, for as he looked into heaven, many nonbelievers he had denounced and sought to save from heresy were enjoying heaven. This perplexed him.
The angel spoke, "It's time for you to go to your eternal home." The man stepped toward the gate to heaven. The angel stopped him, saying, "No, you're headed the wrong." The angel pointed elsewhere, announcing, "Hell is that way."
The man, shocked, asked, "How can these heretical nonbelievers go to heaven while I go to hell? I tried to get them ready for heaven!" The angel answered, "Yes, if only you had realized you were the one that needed saving, not them." "But," argued the man, "I did get saved!" The angel replied, "No ... you failed in the most important way ... truly to love these you decided were unworthy of heaven."
*Brian K. Wilcox, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse.
