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Many persons you and I know could retell the above scenario in different versions. In fact, some of you have a similar story, likely. You know the years of trying to make a marriage work, the slow and grueling path to letting go or being let go of, and the shame of it ending. You know the blaming the other and blaming oneself. You know the feeling at a wedding, when two young lovers say “I do,” and you hold in memory that day you said the same, only to find it seem so untrue.
So, I ask you—Is romantic Love a fictitious myth, a childish fairy tale that has to be surrendered to the real facts of life? Or, Is romantic Love a very challenging but wonderful Path between two persons, a way chosen by our Creator, who is Love, for us to learn Love? If we look at the divorce rate and the state of many marriages, even long-term ones, we might reply, logically, “myth.” Or, we can listen to our hearts, as we read and view loves stories and, not least, catch the light in the eye of two lovers who have found love and prove it to be true, even after previous seeming failure. We can choose.
Yes, I believe romantic Love is a myth, a spiritually true myth that speaks to the true longings and meaning of life, universally. In fact, I believe romantic Love is only rightly understood in the context of being such a deeply true, universal myth of Divine origin, manifesting the nature of the Creating One and the Purpose of human life.
The older Noah, played by James Garner, the narrator of the story in the 2004 romance “The Notebook,” sums up his life. The scene is in a care home, where he reads through a notebook, repeatedly, to Allie, now in her later years. The story is about two young lovers who had fallen in love one Summer in the late 1940s. But, social cast divided them. Allie belonged to a wealthy family with servants. Noah lived with his father in the woods, in a simple little house, and he worked at the local wood yard. However, after being separated for years, Noah and Allie found each other again.
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Now, many years later, Allie suffers from Senile Dementia. Noah has suffered two or three recent heart attacks. He lives in the care home, despite his children pleading for him to leave and return home to them, because he will not leave Allie, his sweetheart. His summation, early in the plot, sets up the theme of the movie:
"I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. In one respect, I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul. And for me, that has always been enough."
When viewing a movie like “The Notebook,” many adults will feel a resonation, even though it seems romantic Love has failed them. However, love stories, like that between Noah and Allie, come out of the collective recognition that love between a man and woman has the capacity to emulate the love that Life has for each of us. The reason we enjoy ove stories and admire couples who deeply love each other, whether they are in their teens or late 80s …, is we know that True Love is more real than the pursuit of pleasure, material security, and professional notoriety. We know this Love has something to do with our essential being and reason for being.
I now look at my mother and father and see her dying of cancer. They have been married for over fifty-three years. He deeply loves her, and I see his love for her to an extent I never knew. While he dreads letting go of her and life here without her, I rejoice that he has known such True Romantic Love. And, the romantic attraction and desire, as God meant it to, carried over into their older adult years, not dying out with the years of youthful vigor and vibrant sexual hormones. Like us each, neither she nor he always knew how to show the love they have had for each other. And, they have never had a lot materially. In fact, they have known years of having almost nothing. But, love has kept them together. That is even clearer than before to see in these their last months together on earth.
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