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Also, this loving is patient and calm, resisting a spirit of complaint and bitterness. Paul writes to the Church in Colossae: "Husbands, love your wives and don't become bitter against them" (Colossians 3.19, HCSB).
I will offer a passage that shows this considerate and selfless loving. This passage would show us the effects of a husband's true, spiritual loving for his wife:
28If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. 29Take the yoke I give you. Put it on your shoulders and learn from me. I am gentle and humble, and you will find rest.
*Matthew 11.28-29, CEV
The spiritual relationship between husband and wife is one of equality, even when roles and responsibilities differ. These roles and responsibilities will always be linked to the social setting wherein we live the Gospel. However, the selflessness of both husband and wife is always part of being a Christian couple.
As a husband, I find Paul's instructions inspiring to me. I have, of course, fallen far short of living up to what I am told: Love your wife as Christ loves his Church. Yet, such inspires me, for I truly what to be more like Christ to and for my wife. And, likely, learning to be more that kind of husband is the primary calling of my life.
I recommend that Christians discontinue debating so much about who is to be the head of the house. Rather, we husbands need to focus on loving our wives as Christ loves us all.
We will find, as I find, that when I truly and ardently love my wife, she replies with a like loving. Too many of us men put a wall around our hearts and neglect our first-love toward our wives. Then, we complain when our marriage has lost its passion and vibrancy. And many men seek in extramarital relations what they are too lazy to work for in their marriage.
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